I shared some of my more recent conclusions about homeschooling to group of homeschooling parents and it was positively received. I think it is important to be honest about our struggles and realizations, because we may just be sharing the information that another person needs to hear, to know that they are not alone. Are we crazy or do other people feel the way we do? Or we may not be able to pinpoint what we are feeling or what isn't sitting right with us, but by reading/hearing someone else's thoughts on the matter, it helps clarify our situation. I love the possibility that my honesty may help another person. Here is what I wrote about a month ago:
I have been homeschooling my oldest daughter in one form or
another for 5 1/2 years now. During that time, she has been in a
home-based online charter school, in a brick-and-mortar two-day charter school
(science and history there, math and language arts at home the other 3 days),
and this past year, I allowed a former teacher to instruct my girls, so I took
more of a backseat, hoping I was doing the best for my girls. Here are a
few things I have learned:
I am not always the most patient teacher and/or parent. Homeschooling is giving me lots of opportunities to work on this!
I struggle with being consistent in our daily plans - I'm a much better at planning than actually doing! But I will keep trying!
I can be easily overwhelmed and easily distracted. I work hard at not shutting down when overwhelmed and trying to stay focused on small goals so that I'm less prone to distraction.
Nobody, but nobody, loves my children the way I do, and my children love nobody, but nobody, the way the love me! We were meant to be together and after allowing others to school my children, I have finally realized that even if I am not the most patient, not the most consistent, least distracted parent/teacher on the planet, it is okay. My love for my children and my daily involvement in their lives will outweigh any shortcomings I may have and it may be part of the plan for my life to learn and grow through my children. I am not just teaching them, they are teaching me! There is nothing I would rather do than succeed at raising two wonderful girls, who will go out into the world and make their own mark. If my only purpose for being here is to raise them, then that is enough.
So, my point?
If you struggle with whether or not you are making a difference, you are.
If you struggle with whether you are good enough, you are.
If you struggle with whether you can make the best decisions for your child's education, you can.
If you struggle with being on time, I'm sorry but you may always struggle! But if you keep trying to improve, you will.
Maybe, just maybe, your children need you to be just the way you are in order to get their best education.
Do not let your insecurities about your abilities allow you to make decisions about your child's education. Trust that you are the parent of that child for a reason.
Listen to your gut, your heart, or whatever it is inside of you that knows what is best for your child, even if what you "hear" sounds scary (hard to do, beyond your abilities, etc). You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for, trust me!
My final note: If your child is enrolled in a public charter school, I am not saying that they shouldn't be, perhaps that is best for your family. But what I am saying is that if they are there primarily because it makes it easier on you, or because you think you lack something that your child needs, please think long and hard about that. Those were my primary reasons for my girls being in charters but the whole time, over five years in 3 different situations, I struggled with content or values or other children I knew nothing about or my lack of involvement in certain areas. I did not realize how stressful that was, that constant internal struggle from within. About two months ago I FINALLY decided to go "all in" and homeschool my children full-time privately, and while I'm a little bit scared, I am so excited! I love making decisions about their curriculum that sometimes I didn't get to make before. I can make my own calendar for the school year. I am free to try new things that may work better for my children. I have realized that the stress of conforming to an outside school outweighs the stress of wondering if I am good enough to homeschool. This is just part of my journey, of course, and everyone's is different. But if sharing my thoughts helps to encourage anyone else out there, I'm willing to share. Thanks for your time.
I am not always the most patient teacher and/or parent. Homeschooling is giving me lots of opportunities to work on this!
I struggle with being consistent in our daily plans - I'm a much better at planning than actually doing! But I will keep trying!
I can be easily overwhelmed and easily distracted. I work hard at not shutting down when overwhelmed and trying to stay focused on small goals so that I'm less prone to distraction.
Nobody, but nobody, loves my children the way I do, and my children love nobody, but nobody, the way the love me! We were meant to be together and after allowing others to school my children, I have finally realized that even if I am not the most patient, not the most consistent, least distracted parent/teacher on the planet, it is okay. My love for my children and my daily involvement in their lives will outweigh any shortcomings I may have and it may be part of the plan for my life to learn and grow through my children. I am not just teaching them, they are teaching me! There is nothing I would rather do than succeed at raising two wonderful girls, who will go out into the world and make their own mark. If my only purpose for being here is to raise them, then that is enough.
So, my point?
If you struggle with whether or not you are making a difference, you are.
If you struggle with whether you are good enough, you are.
If you struggle with whether you can make the best decisions for your child's education, you can.
If you struggle with being on time, I'm sorry but you may always struggle! But if you keep trying to improve, you will.
Maybe, just maybe, your children need you to be just the way you are in order to get their best education.
Do not let your insecurities about your abilities allow you to make decisions about your child's education. Trust that you are the parent of that child for a reason.
Listen to your gut, your heart, or whatever it is inside of you that knows what is best for your child, even if what you "hear" sounds scary (hard to do, beyond your abilities, etc). You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for, trust me!
My final note: If your child is enrolled in a public charter school, I am not saying that they shouldn't be, perhaps that is best for your family. But what I am saying is that if they are there primarily because it makes it easier on you, or because you think you lack something that your child needs, please think long and hard about that. Those were my primary reasons for my girls being in charters but the whole time, over five years in 3 different situations, I struggled with content or values or other children I knew nothing about or my lack of involvement in certain areas. I did not realize how stressful that was, that constant internal struggle from within. About two months ago I FINALLY decided to go "all in" and homeschool my children full-time privately, and while I'm a little bit scared, I am so excited! I love making decisions about their curriculum that sometimes I didn't get to make before. I can make my own calendar for the school year. I am free to try new things that may work better for my children. I have realized that the stress of conforming to an outside school outweighs the stress of wondering if I am good enough to homeschool. This is just part of my journey, of course, and everyone's is different. But if sharing my thoughts helps to encourage anyone else out there, I'm willing to share. Thanks for your time.
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