I have not made my blog the habit that I once dreamed of, but I will try to write more often!
The last time I wrote, I was just starting the new school year. This was to be my first homeschooling year completely on my own; no charter schools, no online schools, etc. Just me and nobody else to blame. But I find that I still struggle to find the right curriculum! I was fairly disappointed with some of my selections - they sounded so good at the CHEA convention last May! I got overwhelmed by the science book and we've just now gone back to it, out of my desire to finish something we started. I modified my expectations and that seemed to help. Finding the proper balance of school, working part-time, cleaning and getting proper rest has been a challenge!
My twelve-year-old has been expressing interest in attending the local high school when it is time and this has thrown me completely off! I am happy that she is feeling more ready to enter the "real" world, where she has opportunities to be her real self, separate of me. I'm thrilled to see these signs of independence, but it signals the beginning of the end (to me), and that has been in the forefront of my mind these last few months. I have been struggling with whether or not I have all of the tools necessary to prepare her for high school. It has felt like my best effort is not good enough. She is behind academically, especially in math, and I haven't figured out the best way to help her.
So, when I friend told me about her plans to switch from homeschooling to a private Christian school, I took notice. I've done some research myself, and started the steps towards possibly making this a reality for next fall. I am overwhelmed with emotions about this, as I had come to identify myself as a homeschooling mom and took some pride in it. But there's that word: pride. And what about my struggle to find the perfect balance? I haven't won that battle yet! Aren't I supposed to win that battle? But it's not really about me.
The truth is I only started homeschooling in the middle of my daughter's first grade year because she was an out-of-the-box child who did not fit into a traditional classroom. Will she fit in now? Can she conform? Do I want her to? I feel that our decision to home school in one form or another the last six years has been good for my children as well as our family, but there may be an end in sight. We're still trying to figure that out and all of these questions are in my head.
My priority in homeschooling has changed. I am now focused on the possibility of preparing her for entry into a more traditional classroom setting, and that changes everything. With a possible "end" in sight of extended time with my girls, I have found myself trying to determine how many days are left and wondering what will I do with those days. It is good, in a way, because this is helping me see how we spend our time in a different way and I think it is a good challenge. It might be just what we need, regardless of what happens next school year.
I find these two verses encouraging to me at this time (and pretty much always):
Romans 11:36 For from him and through him and to him are all things.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.
If I keep my eyes on Him and just focus on seeking God's will for my children, I know that the right decision will be made. Thank you, Lord, for your goodness and for your continued grace in our lives. Thank you for knowing our burdens and for asking us to give them to you. I have been blessed with the opportunity to be the mother of these two girls. I have been anxious, Father, about what is best for the children but I know that you have it covered and that I need not be anxious. I release them to you, Lord; thy will be done. Amen.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Friday, August 9, 2013
Prioritizing the Homeschool Year, Part 1
I've been trying to organize my brain by writing important information down in one notebook - genius, right? Oh, everybody else already does that, you say? Well, this girl has been living in a bit of mental chaos for a while, now, just staying organized enough to get by, without doing much real planning. My easy excuse is that I've been too busy, but let's be honest and say that I just didn't make it a priority. I struggle somewhat with the idea of being too structured. If I put a formal schedule down on paper, I may very well break that schedule right away, then feel like a failure, and then just stop trying. So why start and experience the failure? Hmmm.....
So as I am trying to wrap my brain around the organization required to properly homeschool my daughters, knowing that I am prone to breaking schedules and knowing that I struggle with too much structure, I have to ask myself what is the proper balance of having fun with my girls and making sure enough learning takes place? This is especially concerning for me with regards to my oldest daughter, who is behind in math. I want to make some good progress this year! And then there's balancing the needs of two children five years apart in age. Some things we can do together and some things we cannot, so I need to structure our day to allow for plenty of individual time.
I'm going to start with what is the most important to me, which is spiritual growth and character development. We purchased the first year of a six-year devotional study. It breaks down the content for each year into four quarters and also contains lessons about the birth and death, burial, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ. The first year covers all of Genesis and Job with references to other scriptures throughout. I am so excited to be covering these books of the Bible so deeply with my girls! They each have their own book based upon their grade level/age, so we may have to do some one-on-one time with each girl, but I think it will be an excellent way to start our day! There are five lessons per week that require reading the Bible, memorizing a verse, answering questions each day about the scripture, which includes cross references all over the Bible, asking for your thoughts on what is discussed and then a "Going to God" day/lesson, where you apply what you've learned to your own life. I love it! There are fun activities mixed in too. Here is a sample worksheet from the Middler book, which I purchased for my 7-year-old:
http://www.lampquill.com/uploads/3/0/5/9/3059530/101c.pdf
And here is a sample of the first week from the Junior book, which I purchased for my 12-year-old:
http://www.lampquill.com/uploads/3/0/5/9/3059530/101d.pdf
They have a parent book as well, but I just couldn't afford it. Hopefully as I do these with my daughters, that will be enough. I found out about the company that makes these books while at the CHEA Convention in Anaheim in May. They were just finishing the ESV version of their devotional studies, which is what I purchased, but they also have NIV and NKJ, I believe. I think they are great and I'm very excited to get started! Here is a link to their website and I chose the page that says what they are all about - it's good! :
http://www.lampquill.com/about-us.html
I plan to do this with the girls, still in their jammies, on the couch together before we even eat breakfast. How can the rest of the day go wrong if we start with scripture and prayer? So this is my first priority and plan for our homeschooling year!
So as I am trying to wrap my brain around the organization required to properly homeschool my daughters, knowing that I am prone to breaking schedules and knowing that I struggle with too much structure, I have to ask myself what is the proper balance of having fun with my girls and making sure enough learning takes place? This is especially concerning for me with regards to my oldest daughter, who is behind in math. I want to make some good progress this year! And then there's balancing the needs of two children five years apart in age. Some things we can do together and some things we cannot, so I need to structure our day to allow for plenty of individual time.
I'm going to start with what is the most important to me, which is spiritual growth and character development. We purchased the first year of a six-year devotional study. It breaks down the content for each year into four quarters and also contains lessons about the birth and death, burial, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ. The first year covers all of Genesis and Job with references to other scriptures throughout. I am so excited to be covering these books of the Bible so deeply with my girls! They each have their own book based upon their grade level/age, so we may have to do some one-on-one time with each girl, but I think it will be an excellent way to start our day! There are five lessons per week that require reading the Bible, memorizing a verse, answering questions each day about the scripture, which includes cross references all over the Bible, asking for your thoughts on what is discussed and then a "Going to God" day/lesson, where you apply what you've learned to your own life. I love it! There are fun activities mixed in too. Here is a sample worksheet from the Middler book, which I purchased for my 7-year-old:
http://www.lampquill.com/uploads/3/0/5/9/3059530/101c.pdf
And here is a sample of the first week from the Junior book, which I purchased for my 12-year-old:
http://www.lampquill.com/uploads/3/0/5/9/3059530/101d.pdf
They have a parent book as well, but I just couldn't afford it. Hopefully as I do these with my daughters, that will be enough. I found out about the company that makes these books while at the CHEA Convention in Anaheim in May. They were just finishing the ESV version of their devotional studies, which is what I purchased, but they also have NIV and NKJ, I believe. I think they are great and I'm very excited to get started! Here is a link to their website and I chose the page that says what they are all about - it's good! :
http://www.lampquill.com/about-us.html
I plan to do this with the girls, still in their jammies, on the couch together before we even eat breakfast. How can the rest of the day go wrong if we start with scripture and prayer? So this is my first priority and plan for our homeschooling year!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Thoughts on Homeschooling
I'm back! I realized it has been almost four years since I last posted to this blog - not that anyone noticed. :) But I think it is a good time to start it up again, so here I go!
I shared some of my more recent conclusions about homeschooling to group of homeschooling parents and it was positively received. I think it is important to be honest about our struggles and realizations, because we may just be sharing the information that another person needs to hear, to know that they are not alone. Are we crazy or do other people feel the way we do? Or we may not be able to pinpoint what we are feeling or what isn't sitting right with us, but by reading/hearing someone else's thoughts on the matter, it helps clarify our situation. I love the possibility that my honesty may help another person. Here is what I wrote about a month ago:
I shared some of my more recent conclusions about homeschooling to group of homeschooling parents and it was positively received. I think it is important to be honest about our struggles and realizations, because we may just be sharing the information that another person needs to hear, to know that they are not alone. Are we crazy or do other people feel the way we do? Or we may not be able to pinpoint what we are feeling or what isn't sitting right with us, but by reading/hearing someone else's thoughts on the matter, it helps clarify our situation. I love the possibility that my honesty may help another person. Here is what I wrote about a month ago:
I have been homeschooling my oldest daughter in one form or
another for 5 1/2 years now. During that time, she has been in a
home-based online charter school, in a brick-and-mortar two-day charter school
(science and history there, math and language arts at home the other 3 days),
and this past year, I allowed a former teacher to instruct my girls, so I took
more of a backseat, hoping I was doing the best for my girls. Here are a
few things I have learned:
I am not always the most patient teacher and/or parent. Homeschooling is giving me lots of opportunities to work on this!
I struggle with being consistent in our daily plans - I'm a much better at planning than actually doing! But I will keep trying!
I can be easily overwhelmed and easily distracted. I work hard at not shutting down when overwhelmed and trying to stay focused on small goals so that I'm less prone to distraction.
Nobody, but nobody, loves my children the way I do, and my children love nobody, but nobody, the way the love me! We were meant to be together and after allowing others to school my children, I have finally realized that even if I am not the most patient, not the most consistent, least distracted parent/teacher on the planet, it is okay. My love for my children and my daily involvement in their lives will outweigh any shortcomings I may have and it may be part of the plan for my life to learn and grow through my children. I am not just teaching them, they are teaching me! There is nothing I would rather do than succeed at raising two wonderful girls, who will go out into the world and make their own mark. If my only purpose for being here is to raise them, then that is enough.
So, my point?
If you struggle with whether or not you are making a difference, you are.
If you struggle with whether you are good enough, you are.
If you struggle with whether you can make the best decisions for your child's education, you can.
If you struggle with being on time, I'm sorry but you may always struggle! But if you keep trying to improve, you will.
Maybe, just maybe, your children need you to be just the way you are in order to get their best education.
Do not let your insecurities about your abilities allow you to make decisions about your child's education. Trust that you are the parent of that child for a reason.
Listen to your gut, your heart, or whatever it is inside of you that knows what is best for your child, even if what you "hear" sounds scary (hard to do, beyond your abilities, etc). You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for, trust me!
My final note: If your child is enrolled in a public charter school, I am not saying that they shouldn't be, perhaps that is best for your family. But what I am saying is that if they are there primarily because it makes it easier on you, or because you think you lack something that your child needs, please think long and hard about that. Those were my primary reasons for my girls being in charters but the whole time, over five years in 3 different situations, I struggled with content or values or other children I knew nothing about or my lack of involvement in certain areas. I did not realize how stressful that was, that constant internal struggle from within. About two months ago I FINALLY decided to go "all in" and homeschool my children full-time privately, and while I'm a little bit scared, I am so excited! I love making decisions about their curriculum that sometimes I didn't get to make before. I can make my own calendar for the school year. I am free to try new things that may work better for my children. I have realized that the stress of conforming to an outside school outweighs the stress of wondering if I am good enough to homeschool. This is just part of my journey, of course, and everyone's is different. But if sharing my thoughts helps to encourage anyone else out there, I'm willing to share. Thanks for your time.
I am not always the most patient teacher and/or parent. Homeschooling is giving me lots of opportunities to work on this!
I struggle with being consistent in our daily plans - I'm a much better at planning than actually doing! But I will keep trying!
I can be easily overwhelmed and easily distracted. I work hard at not shutting down when overwhelmed and trying to stay focused on small goals so that I'm less prone to distraction.
Nobody, but nobody, loves my children the way I do, and my children love nobody, but nobody, the way the love me! We were meant to be together and after allowing others to school my children, I have finally realized that even if I am not the most patient, not the most consistent, least distracted parent/teacher on the planet, it is okay. My love for my children and my daily involvement in their lives will outweigh any shortcomings I may have and it may be part of the plan for my life to learn and grow through my children. I am not just teaching them, they are teaching me! There is nothing I would rather do than succeed at raising two wonderful girls, who will go out into the world and make their own mark. If my only purpose for being here is to raise them, then that is enough.
So, my point?
If you struggle with whether or not you are making a difference, you are.
If you struggle with whether you are good enough, you are.
If you struggle with whether you can make the best decisions for your child's education, you can.
If you struggle with being on time, I'm sorry but you may always struggle! But if you keep trying to improve, you will.
Maybe, just maybe, your children need you to be just the way you are in order to get their best education.
Do not let your insecurities about your abilities allow you to make decisions about your child's education. Trust that you are the parent of that child for a reason.
Listen to your gut, your heart, or whatever it is inside of you that knows what is best for your child, even if what you "hear" sounds scary (hard to do, beyond your abilities, etc). You are capable of more than you give yourself credit for, trust me!
My final note: If your child is enrolled in a public charter school, I am not saying that they shouldn't be, perhaps that is best for your family. But what I am saying is that if they are there primarily because it makes it easier on you, or because you think you lack something that your child needs, please think long and hard about that. Those were my primary reasons for my girls being in charters but the whole time, over five years in 3 different situations, I struggled with content or values or other children I knew nothing about or my lack of involvement in certain areas. I did not realize how stressful that was, that constant internal struggle from within. About two months ago I FINALLY decided to go "all in" and homeschool my children full-time privately, and while I'm a little bit scared, I am so excited! I love making decisions about their curriculum that sometimes I didn't get to make before. I can make my own calendar for the school year. I am free to try new things that may work better for my children. I have realized that the stress of conforming to an outside school outweighs the stress of wondering if I am good enough to homeschool. This is just part of my journey, of course, and everyone's is different. But if sharing my thoughts helps to encourage anyone else out there, I'm willing to share. Thanks for your time.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Proud Mama
I was so proud of my daughter last night. She has a weekly church meeting for her age group and they take prayer requests. She asked them to pray for two girls who she doesn't even know, but she heard from me were having medical issues. I don't even know these girls either, but I have received e-mails about them via a homeschooling e-mail group I am on. One girl has cancer and the other girl was having a major dental procedure done today.
I was proud of her thoughtfulness and caring, and I realized that she is learning that from me. That may sound conceited or something, but it's not like that. I realized that while she is at home with me and I'm sharing things about others and showing my concern, she's learning about being concerned for others. That may sound basic but I think a lot of people do not really think about more than the immediate family that surrounds them. I think it takes selflessness and a conscious effort to care for others in a meaningful way.
Some days when I'm homeschooling I feel like a failure. I home school via a public charter and we are required to log attendance and mark progress, which is measured in percentages of overall completion for the year. Many days we don't make the kind of progress I would like. But I have to remember that I am not just teaching my daughter to read and write and add numbers. I am teaching her how to be a compassionate, caring individual who thinks about how she can help others and how she can reach her full potential.
When she came home and told me she had prayed for those girls she doesn't even know, I realized it was a good school day, regardless of anything else that did or did not happen. I felt successful. :)
I was proud of her thoughtfulness and caring, and I realized that she is learning that from me. That may sound conceited or something, but it's not like that. I realized that while she is at home with me and I'm sharing things about others and showing my concern, she's learning about being concerned for others. That may sound basic but I think a lot of people do not really think about more than the immediate family that surrounds them. I think it takes selflessness and a conscious effort to care for others in a meaningful way.
Some days when I'm homeschooling I feel like a failure. I home school via a public charter and we are required to log attendance and mark progress, which is measured in percentages of overall completion for the year. Many days we don't make the kind of progress I would like. But I have to remember that I am not just teaching my daughter to read and write and add numbers. I am teaching her how to be a compassionate, caring individual who thinks about how she can help others and how she can reach her full potential.
When she came home and told me she had prayed for those girls she doesn't even know, I realized it was a good school day, regardless of anything else that did or did not happen. I felt successful. :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A New Day
I recently posted on FB that I viewed every Monday as a fresh start to a new week in which I could try again to accomplish my goals. That very week, I had painful dental work and my husband was home sick from work for 2 days and I was entirely sidelined from my plans. I took it in stride, however, and looked forward to starting the next week new.
Well, it's been a couple more weeks and I've had minor victories, but nothing big. My mom has told me more than once to have little goals and to just focus on accomplishing one thing at a time. She says that eventually it will all get done. It's hard for me to feel that way because as I get one thing done, my 3-year-old destroys something else. Or someone has a bad day or we get behind with homeschooling, or I get behind with my work I do from home, or something happens. It feels like I can't ever get ahead. So my mom is right and I should just focus on small things. This is very hard for me.
Today is a new day! I am not pleased with my accomplishments from the day before, but I have a new chance today to get more done and feel good about it! With God's grace I will succeed!
Well, it's been a couple more weeks and I've had minor victories, but nothing big. My mom has told me more than once to have little goals and to just focus on accomplishing one thing at a time. She says that eventually it will all get done. It's hard for me to feel that way because as I get one thing done, my 3-year-old destroys something else. Or someone has a bad day or we get behind with homeschooling, or I get behind with my work I do from home, or something happens. It feels like I can't ever get ahead. So my mom is right and I should just focus on small things. This is very hard for me.
Today is a new day! I am not pleased with my accomplishments from the day before, but I have a new chance today to get more done and feel good about it! With God's grace I will succeed!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What does Going Through Life with Grace mean to me?
I titled my blog "Going Though Life with Grace" because I feel that I have often needed God's grace, and I feel that throughout my life, He has given it to me. I have been spared from many serious injuries, my husband and I have survived multiple layoffs and health scares, I have recovered from 2 c-sections, I was spared from being at my job in Manhattan on 9-11, among other things. But what matters even more is that during my life I have fallen short and abandoned God, but His grace kept me safe and allowed me to return to Him when I was ready. I have been a Christian most of my life, but I am really still a "Baby Christian." Only now, at the age of 37, am I ready to "grow up" in my Christianity and relationship with God.
Here are just a couple of verses that talk about grace that I like:
Ephesians 2:4-8
4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
Colossians 4:6
6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
I want to be always full of grace. I want to have a light that shines from within, that makes people want to know how they can feel as I do and I'll tell them. I can honestly say I'm not there yet. I struggle everyday with petty thoughts, procrastination, depression and doubt. But I know that at the end of the day, God loves me and knows my heart. He knows that I desire to be a servant and by His grace, I will get there!
Here are just a couple of verses that talk about grace that I like:
Ephesians 2:4-8
4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
Colossians 4:6
6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
I want to be always full of grace. I want to have a light that shines from within, that makes people want to know how they can feel as I do and I'll tell them. I can honestly say I'm not there yet. I struggle everyday with petty thoughts, procrastination, depression and doubt. But I know that at the end of the day, God loves me and knows my heart. He knows that I desire to be a servant and by His grace, I will get there!
I've been thinking about this for a long time
I've been thinking about blogging for a long time, only I didn't realize that's what I wanted to do. I have just felt like I had a lot to say and I didn't know who to say it to, so this might be a good way to get it out.
I read a bio of an author in the back of her book that said she liked to talk a lot so she found writing to be a good way for her thoughts. When I read that, it really spoke to me. I have been told more than once that I talk a lot. I suppose it's the people who don't like to talk very much who feel compelled to tell me that. Quite honestly, it hurts my feelings. It's kind of like pointing out a birth mark on some one's face - I'm fully aware of it, thank you very much, and your saying something is only a painful reminder. I will continue to edit my spoken words but I may write some of my unspoken thoughts here!
I read a bio of an author in the back of her book that said she liked to talk a lot so she found writing to be a good way for her thoughts. When I read that, it really spoke to me. I have been told more than once that I talk a lot. I suppose it's the people who don't like to talk very much who feel compelled to tell me that. Quite honestly, it hurts my feelings. It's kind of like pointing out a birth mark on some one's face - I'm fully aware of it, thank you very much, and your saying something is only a painful reminder. I will continue to edit my spoken words but I may write some of my unspoken thoughts here!
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