Proud Mama

I was so proud of my daughter last night. She has a weekly church meeting for her age group and they take prayer requests. She asked them to pray for two girls who she doesn't even know, but she heard from me were having medical issues. I don't even know these girls either, but I have received e-mails about them via a homeschooling e-mail group I am on. One girl has cancer and the other girl was having a major dental procedure done today.

I was proud of her thoughtfulness and caring, and I realized that she is learning that from me. That may sound conceited or something, but it's not like that. I realized that while she is at home with me and I'm sharing things about others and showing my concern, she's learning about being concerned for others. That may sound basic but I think a lot of people do not really think about more than the immediate family that surrounds them. I think it takes selflessness and a conscious effort to care for others in a meaningful way.

Some days when I'm homeschooling I feel like a failure. I home school via a public charter and we are required to log attendance and mark progress, which is measured in percentages of overall completion for the year. Many days we don't make the kind of progress I would like. But I have to remember that I am not just teaching my daughter to read and write and add numbers. I am teaching her how to be a compassionate, caring individual who thinks about how she can help others and how she can reach her full potential.

When she came home and told me she had prayed for those girls she doesn't even know, I realized it was a good school day, regardless of anything else that did or did not happen. I felt successful. :)

A New Day

I recently posted on FB that I viewed every Monday as a fresh start to a new week in which I could try again to accomplish my goals. That very week, I had painful dental work and my husband was home sick from work for 2 days and I was entirely sidelined from my plans. I took it in stride, however, and looked forward to starting the next week new.

Well, it's been a couple more weeks and I've had minor victories, but nothing big. My mom has told me more than once to have little goals and to just focus on accomplishing one thing at a time. She says that eventually it will all get done. It's hard for me to feel that way because as I get one thing done, my 3-year-old destroys something else. Or someone has a bad day or we get behind with homeschooling, or I get behind with my work I do from home, or something happens. It feels like I can't ever get ahead. So my mom is right and I should just focus on small things. This is very hard for me.

Today is a new day! I am not pleased with my accomplishments from the day before, but I have a new chance today to get more done and feel good about it! With God's grace I will succeed!

What does Going Through Life with Grace mean to me?

I titled my blog "Going Though Life with Grace" because I feel that I have often needed God's grace, and I feel that throughout my life, He has given it to me. I have been spared from many serious injuries, my husband and I have survived multiple layoffs and health scares, I have recovered from 2 c-sections, I was spared from being at my job in Manhattan on 9-11, among other things. But what matters even more is that during my life I have fallen short and abandoned God, but His grace kept me safe and allowed me to return to Him when I was ready. I have been a Christian most of my life, but I am really still a "Baby Christian." Only now, at the age of 37, am I ready to "grow up" in my Christianity and relationship with God.

Here are just a couple of verses that talk about grace that I like:

Ephesians 2:4-8

4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God

Colossians 4:6

6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

I want to be always full of grace. I want to have a light that shines from within, that makes people want to know how they can feel as I do and I'll tell them. I can honestly say I'm not there yet. I struggle everyday with petty thoughts, procrastination, depression and doubt. But I know that at the end of the day, God loves me and knows my heart. He knows that I desire to be a servant and by His grace, I will get there!

I've been thinking about this for a long time

I've been thinking about blogging for a long time, only I didn't realize that's what I wanted to do. I have just felt like I had a lot to say and I didn't know who to say it to, so this might be a good way to get it out.

I read a bio of an author in the back of her book that said she liked to talk a lot so she found writing to be a good way for her thoughts. When I read that, it really spoke to me. I have been told more than once that I talk a lot. I suppose it's the people who don't like to talk very much who feel compelled to tell me that. Quite honestly, it hurts my feelings. It's kind of like pointing out a birth mark on some one's face - I'm fully aware of it, thank you very much, and your saying something is only a painful reminder. I will continue to edit my spoken words but I may write some of my unspoken thoughts here!